God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
