Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize