drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The air was thick with penises
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
