A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
