I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
