Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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