this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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