there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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