maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
