in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Farmville is her only friend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
