I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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