Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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