I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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