i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
nutella sex= disaster
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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