So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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