Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize