dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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