I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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