My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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