we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
