no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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