I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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