You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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