I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
