the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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