I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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