PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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