THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize