The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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