Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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