peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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