Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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