How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I will die if light touches me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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