before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
