Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
