How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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