Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
