Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
