i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
