I think I am morally bankrupt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
