Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
