A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My penis needs a shock collar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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