I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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