Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
