So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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