Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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