well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
