so explain again why im purple
no
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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