I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
