if you like me you must not know who I am
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
