I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize