I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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