His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
