I'm gonna have a badass scar
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
