I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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