the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
