Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
