so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
