he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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