There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize