well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
