don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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