i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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