you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
