New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
