his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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